“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Dr. Albert Ellis, psychologist.
This is a really powerful quote. It helps us understand 3 things: claiming your problems as your own give you power, blaming someone or something else doesn’t help you, and you have a big hand in your future.
Who doesn’t like the feeling of power at least once in a while? Power is intoxicating, invigorating, and intense. Yet our problems make us feel exactly the opposite. When you go ahead and say that the things in your life that give you trouble, are actually things that you are responsible for and have the responsibility to change, you regain your power. This is one of the first steps to transforming your life.
When you blame someone for your problems, whether they do or don’t have any involvement in them, not only do you lose your power and the opportunity to do something about your problems, often you lose their respect for you too. Chances are if their isn’t a reward in solving your problem for you, someone else won’t solve it for you, no matter how much you tell them it’s their fault and you want them to fix it.
Finally, getting control over your situation and your problems and releasing those you have held responsible for those problems, you can not only begin to heal and transform your life, but you can positively impact your future. I LOVE knowing that by doing certain things I am creating solutions to my problems. I love being responsible for my problems, because they get solved and taken care of 400 times quicker than if I blame someone else. Even just having a positive attitude towards life and believing I will find answers to my challenges makes the problems seem less frustrating and annoying.
What solutions have you created or answers have you found by claiming your problems?