I’ve spent a number of years looking for a perfect couple: two people who don’t have any issues, don’t ever fight, don’t ever have disagreements or different opinions, where things are all sunshine and roses. I have yet to find that couple, and I can’t say I’m very confident that I will find that couple. Why? Because I don’t think they exist. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great relationship with my partner, we’re very happy and work very well together. But I can easily make up a list of recent fight topics or things we’re working on resolving. Maybe the difference is that I don’t expect our relationship to be perfect, I just expect us to be committed to each other and to it, which we are.
Since we don’t expect or try to attain perfection it’s given us more time to work on things that are actually productive and helpful to our relationship, like conversations about our future, enjoying doing things together rather than dreading them because of anticipated fighting, and discussing ways to make the world a better place. In that sense our relationship is perfect because we’re both on the same page with expectations and lack of perfection.
I know some of my weaknesses and I know some of his. In knowing each other’s weaknesses we know when we need to do more to support the other person and things that may affect us more than it would someone else. Those weaknesses aren’t opportunities for us to hurt each other or poke the wound, but opportunities that we can show the other person how important they are to us, despite the imperfections.
The question you need to ask is how can I avoid the complications? Knowing your and your partner’s triggers and the things you need to tread carefully with rather than being used as a point of pain or argument-starter gives you a better chance at longevity, happiness and fulfillment. What will you choose?
“Every relationship has its complications.” Rob Lowe