There are many reasons we screw up. Sometimes we’re just tired, sometimes that little devil on our shoulder makes us do it, sometimes we honestly just screwed up for no good reason, and sometimes we can honestly point the finger at someone for causing the issue. Research has proven what I believe and have seen over and over: we are shaped by the people in our lives. We are shaped by our parents and those in their lives. We are shaped by our teachers. We are shaped by the kids we grew up with. We are shaped by the words that were said to and about us. We can’t force the other people in our lives to change who they are or how they act to us, we don’t have control over them. But we do have control over what we do with what they say and do to us. Some of us use it to make us stronger and wiser, others of us use it as the excuse to get us out of situations.
Before you get all defensive to an extent it is a valid excuse. If you don’t know better, if you weren’t told you were worth more, or if you don’t know your own value you can use those people and what they said and did as a valid excuse. However, in this world of the internet being most likely less than a foot away on your cell phone, it’s a lot harder to say that you truly didn’t know better because you could find out what is really acceptable online in books and articles or even through TV and movies. So your blame of them is a very limited excuse.
In reality their treatment should be an empowerment tool for you. It’s not about proving them wrong, but about proving to yourself how awesome you can be. I believe we each have unlimited potential. But in reality your potential is limited by what you choose or not choose to accept as your responsibility. If you choose to make it your responsibility to live up to the lies they told about you growing up, you will. If you choose that it’s your responsibility to explore the world, you can. If you choose to be responsible for making the world a better place for the next generation, more power to you.
What will you choose to do with your mistakes and responsibilities?
“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.” Katharine Hepburn