Ah Valentine’s Day, or single’s awareness day as it is known by some. How did you end up spending it? Did you do fun activities with your kids? Watch cheesy movies on TV? Eat too much chocolate? Have a nice date? What are your Valentine’s traditions?
Some of the things shown on TV and in movies are about couples that really screw up with celebrating. Whether it’s forgetting the actual day, getting cheap or bad gifts, or doing something that really ruins things like getting sick or proclaiming your love only to find out your partner doesn’t feel the same, it happens! But Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day that things and relationships get messed up, it happens all year long.
Traditional marriage vows talk about being there for each other through thick and thin. Marriage, like life, isn’t a guarantee of happiness, there will be challenges, and even if the relationship is solid there are outside challenges like family and work that can affect a great relationship. The question is how much influence will you give those challenges over your life and relationship?
If you’re determined not to give them a full foothold it’s up to you and your partner to be great communicators, have lots of trust and tons of patience. It’s not always easy to admit when things aren’t going well or when you’re feeling upset, sometimes you need to give your partner time to process before they will share with you. It’s not that they don’t trust you or want to share with you (although they may be embarrassed), it’s that they haven’t processed it enough themselves to share with you. Their need to process is not a good reason for you to pull away from the relationship until they’ve got everything back together.
So my advice for you is to remember that life isn’t all rainbows, but that there will be ups and downs, even in the best relationships. Choose to not let the tough moments ruin the good ones.
“The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.” Quoted by Alexandra Penney in Self