Reality Reflection: The Lies of Love

This past week I read a blog post that reminded me about a challenge we needed to discuss: the lies in our lives.  You’re probably familiar with them,and you probably have been told one lie or another since you were a kid.  Do you remember when people used to say that you were worthless or always did stuff wrong or didn’t listen or you couldn’t do what you dreamed of doing?  Over the years people have shared their opinions of your life and choices with you, maybe often enough or with enough weight to impact you in such a way that you believed them.

I’m here today to tell you that you’ve been told many lies throughout your life.  Sometimes they’re white lies, like when you tell someone they look good even if they look OK and you’d recommend something else, that you’re glad to see them again after all these years even if you’re not, or how babies are created when those curious kids ask.  These lies won’t do the damage to someone permanently and are things that many of us say on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe in being honest as often as possible, but sometimes it’s OK to put off the truth or not tell the whole truth.

When it comes to love there are 2 types of lies that we deal with.  First there are the lies we’re told about us and love.  These are lies like “you’re not good enough,” “you need to try harder,” and “you should have it all together by now.”  These are other people’s opinions on your choices in love and their thoughts on your readiness for love.  Their opinions are not fact and should not be taken as such.  That said, we all have room for improvement and can learn from the way other people see things.

The second lies are those we believe about love.  These are lies like “there are no second chances,” “it’s not so bad,” “love makes everything perfect,” “I do more than my fair share” and “there’s only one for me.”  Now, for some of us those may not be lies, especially the last 2.  But for most of us there are second chances and all of us can do more for the relationship, or choose to be in a relationship that’s better for us than the one we’re in.

Are you letting lies run your life, especially about love?  Take time this weekend to consider what lies you’re letting hold you back from experiencing love to the fullest.

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