Reality Reflection: Right and Wrong

Let’s be honest, no one really likes to be wrong. We sometimes find a little too much joy in others being wrong, but it’s not so much fun when we’re the issue or we did wrong. I’m secure enough in my relationship with my partner, as well as in my relationship with myself, to almost always be able to admit when I’m wrong. I’m not perfect in that if I don’t have to admit I’m wrong I may not, but when the situation calls for it I can admit I was wrong.

When it comes to being wrong, we’re not usually completely wrong, typically we’re at least partially right or moving in the right direction. Which brings me to the questions that I wanted to talk about today: “what if you were right?” and “what if you were wrong?”

The reason I want to spend time talking about these questions is because they can really open up your perspective and get you to think more creatively about what is possible. What if you were right about how perfect you and your partner are for each other? What if you were right that the weather won’t be too bad tomorrow? What if you were right that you’re worth more as an employee? What if you were right that dogs are the best animal on the planet? What if you were right that you’ve got a dream worth pursuing? What if you were right about your boss being a sexist jerk? What if you were right about the bad direction one of your kids was going in? What if you were right about your partner never changing into the person you thought they were? If you were right what would you do or what would be different in your life?

But what if you were wrong? Would your life fall apart? Would you be able to repair a relationship? Would you spiral into a depression? Would you be able to keep your head high? Would you be able to move away? Would you be able to start over? Would you be able to make new friends? Would you be able to try something new? Would you be able to pay the fine? Would you be able to admit you’re wrong and move on to making changes so you can be right?

What would change in your attitude, your perspective or your hope if you were right or wrong? I encourage you to take time considering these questions as we begin this new week, and seeing how they can open your mind to a different, hopefully better, future.


A Fruitful Year

With the beginning of a new year there’s a lot of talk about what we all want to do differently or how we want to have a better year than previous years. Those are great things to think about, but more than just the things you’re going to do, what about who you’re going to be this year? What changes are you going to make in your heart, mind and soul this year? What changes and experiences will God bring you through to help you grow and bring you closer to becoming the person He’s created you to be? I think a great starting point for who we’re going to be this year is Galatians 5:22-23a:

“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

One of the best changes you can make in your life and goals to have is to become a more loving, joyful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and/or self-controlled person because this will overflow into other areas of your life improving them as well. You’ll have better relationships, improved self-esteem, a better attitude and deeper connection with God when you make the Fruit of the Spirit an active part of your life. Yes, it’s great to work on improving your finances, getting a better job/career, having a healthier relationship, losing weight or spending more time doing the things you love, which is what many people choose as their resolutions, but they’re all directly impacted by other people and the world around us. While the Fruit of the Spirit are things that you work on in your life, without needing any agreement, support, allowance or input from anyone else.

You can choose to work on them all at the same time, pick one to focus on all year, work on one each month, or pick one out of a hat or box each day to work on that day. Plus, there are lots of great devotionals that you can read throughout the year as well to support you in learning about and growing in these Fruit. Will you join me in incorporating the Fruit of the Spirit into your life this year?

Faith for the New Year

When I look back over the past year, I can’t help but be thankful.  There were a lot of struggles and there were several not-so-good moments.  But there were so many lessons that I learned that have made me a better person, and have definitely encouraged me as I look forward to 2018.  I may not have all the answers yet, but I do know that changes and improvements are coming.  John Wooden eloquently states it:

“Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.”

A new year is an opportunity for change, but in truth any change can be made at any time.  You can choose today to read your Bible again, you can choose today to fix your relationship with your partner or your kids, you can choose today to make better food choices, or you can choose today to let it all go and step into the plan that God has for your life. As Jeremiah 29:10a-13 says:

“”I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.””

I encourage you to listen to the plans God has for your life in this new year.  What changes or additions will you make to your life this year, especially in regards to the spiritual aspects?

Stay The Course

As we finish up our look at success today I want to share one more thought on it, one last challenge and encouragement with you. One of the things that is awesome about the world we live in as well as challenging is how fast things happen, change, grow and evolve. I think one of the reasons we struggle so much with the changes that happen is because most of us haven’t developed the ability to change this fast physically or mentally. Some of us have gotten good at adapting to the constant changes, and even thrive with them, and others of us have worked really hard at backing off the fast path and are enjoying life in the slow lane.

But for most of us we’re in between these two extremes, we’re dealing with all the changes, but not as well as we could or should and thus we get frustrated and overwhelmed. Then when we add success aspirations to the mix we sometimes have to make the choice to deal with the changes in our life or the changes in the success journey because we can’t manage both. I get it, I’ve been there. It’s not easy to make the choice of which to deal with. But what if you didn’t have to choose between life or success?

The first thing you do is choose that you don’t have to be involved or check out or do every change. You don’t need to upgrade with every new phone on the market, you don’t need to join every social network, you don’t need to sell to everyone, you don’t need to try every product, you don’t need to do everything others want to do. You have to choose how much time you’re going to spend doing things, which people you’re going to spend your time with and what matters most to you. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but don’t feel that you have to try everything new.

The second thing you need to do is be persistent and stay the course. Sometimes the solution is to just keep working on things. Yes, some days you’ll give a little more attention and effort to your success efforts, but other days you’ll put the extra effort and attention to the life things. But countless leaders and successful individuals will tell you that they’re successful because they put one foot in front of the other and kept going. Day after day, story after story, action after action, effort after effort, you keep going.

Don’t give up on your success or the challenges you’ve had because you’re overwhelmed with changes, make the changes work for you, and take your time to work through the changes.

“We try to flee what troubles us, whether literally or figuratively, and God invites staying present… remain and find God here.” Br. Luke Ditewig

Looking Beyond the Ruins

My heart hurts with the people of Vegas as they struggle to navigate the aftermath of the shooting. As much as we may try to do the right thing and encourage others to do the right thing as well, there will continue to be people who are evil and don’t have good in their hearts. With the tragedy in mind, I thought we’d take a look at the words of Isaiah 51:3:

“The Lord will comfort Israel again and have pity on her ruins. Her desert will blossom like Eden, her barren wilderness like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found there. Songs of thanksgiving will fill the air.”

No where in the Bible does God or any of the writers make light of the challenges that we face on earth. Look at Job; no matter what way you look at his situation, he experienced some really tough stuff, Elisha and Elijah were both treated to some natural and supernatural situations and disasters, Abraham didn’t doubt that God could destroy a city, and Saul/Paul accepted being shipwrecked and bitten by a snake, and those are just a few examples of the people in the Bible. Today it’s no different, whether we’re looking at attacks, genocides, money issues, economic troubles, bad leaders or natural disasters, you can’t honestly expect that you’ll “escape” this life without incident. But the good news is that God promises that even with the bad days, good days will follow.

I don’t think God sits up in heaven and shakes His finger at us and says “that’s what you deserve!!”, I think He feels our pain and knows that we’re struggling. Jesus certainly, after spending days in the desert, knows what it’s like to feel desolate and deserted by life, as many of us have seen with neighborhoods completely dark and cold after this hurricane.

What Isaiah says towards the end is what captures my attention: he says that the joy will be found in the barren, now reborn, wilderness. Where there wasn’t much promise, now there is. Where there wasn’t anything worth living for, now there is. What only brought sadness and anger, now brings joy and gladness.

The choice that Israel had to make, and we have to make today, is the choice of how we react to the wilderness. Are we going to react with frustration and anger that we’re in ruins? Are we going to go beyond the reality and see the potential in the future and reach for it with hope and thanksgiving? It’s not about ignoring the bad, or bypassing it. In truth it’s important to see the ruins and come to terms with the tragedy. Not only does that give you perspective for the future, it’s also healthy to grieve for what you’ve lost. But just like the story of Jesus doesn’t end at the sealed tomb, our stories can’t end with us grieving for what we’ve lost. We have to choose to be grateful for what and who we have in our lives.

This week I hope you’ll join me in looking for ways to turn wildernesses into gardens and bringing life back into an area, and a country, that used to be vibrant and full of hope. What are you thankful for?

Reality Reflection: A Little Screw Up

Today I’m thinking about those screw ups that we sometimes do. A friend of mine got pulled over by the police recently for not taking sufficient time at the stop sign, and it got me thinking. Just because my friend got pulled over it doesn’t mean they’re a terrible person. The same could be said about people who cheat on their partner, those who steal, those who get into accidents, those who swear or those who are messy. No one is perfect, but sometimes we make a really big deal about the things they do that aren’t so great, regardless of how big of a deal it really was.

Of course, there are bad people out there, some people belong in jail or punished or with limited privileges. Some people can learn from their mistakes and make changes and live better going forward, while others never do. I hurt for the people who fit into that ‘bad’ category and wish they could see the light of living life a different way.

Do I think that we all could do a better job with our lives, of course. We’ve all got room for improvement. But sometimes I think we poke at and pick out those flaws because we’re scared or we want to look better than them, or because we feel we don’t measure up, or we didn’t get forgiveness when we needed it or we like to make others feel bad. While I hope you’re not the type of person who enjoys making others feel bad, those types of bullies are out there and we do deal with them on a regular basis. If you’re busy poking at someone else’s issues I encourage you to take a look at your own life, reflect on your motivations about why you do that and consider changing how you interact with others.

If you have been screwing up a lot lately or find that people point out how flaws and issues, maybe it is time for you to take a look at what you’re doing or how you’re interacting with people. I love personal growth and think that we’ve all got room to grow and improve, and sometimes we need to hear it from others how we can improve (of course there’s a nice way and a not-so-nice way to do it). So first and foremost don’t be discouraged, you’ve still got time and opportunity to improve, each day is a new opportunity to shine.

An Enemy of Freedom

As we talk about the topic of freedom this month today I want to talk about the challenging topic of indecision. I talked about what indecision means in your business on my other blog, but here today I want to talk about indecision in your personal life. Let’s face it, sometimes we really stink at making decisions. I get it, we’re tired or there’s too many choices, or not enough choices, or there’s too many opinions, or we’re feeling lazy, or we don’t feel it’s really a priority. But when you don’t make a decision you actually do make a decision, it’s just not the decision you may have made if you actually made a decision. Not having an active role in making the decision leaves you up to the whims of the universe. I like a little luck in my life, but some things are too important to leave up to luck.

Indecision and decision making is an important part of freedom, because without making decisions you’ll never have the freedoms you want, or help others get to that freedom. If others are making decision for you, you may end up at what someone would consider freedom, but not what you want as your freedom in life. So if you’re really serious about having those freedoms in your life, you’re going to have to make some decisions and take action on those decisions.

If you want to beat your struggle with indecision, a really effective way is kind of a trick. Ready? Make more decisions. Yep, that sounds really dumb but if you’re consciously making more decisions you’ll learn how to make decisions through experience so when the big decisions come your way you’ll be prepared to make those decisions quicker and better.

If you’re not sure how to make a decision about something, part of that decision making practice should be to make a step-by-step plan. This should be more of a strategy or plan framework so that you can apply it to other decisions you make. It will probably include listing the options you have, researching your options, setting goals/steps, asking for or finding opinions, and trying things out, and maybe even role playing so you can get a feel for how things might go if you make a particular decision. Of course the last step of every plan or strategy you create is taking action!

As I mentioned in the last point, one of the ways you can make better and quicker decisions, and make decisions at all, is to better tap into the available resources. I hear from too many people in this internet age that they have no clue about being a parent or being in a relationship or starting a business or using social media. There’s almost no excuse for not having or getting some foundational knowledge about any topic you’re experiencing in your life with all the blogs, podcasts, videos, courses, webinars and classes available both online and offline. There are also tons of people in your physical circle as well as online that you can talk to about topics that confuse you, and give you some of the information you need to make your decisions.

But as we’ve said throughout the post today, the biggest aspect of indecision that has to be addressed is action. It’s great to make a decision, but once you make that decision you have to take action on it. Yes, sometimes that will mean you’re not taking action because you decided not to pursue the options that were presented to you, but more often than not you’ll have some things to do, buy or change as a result of the decision you’ve made. Don’t let the fear of taking action or worry about commitment be the reason you are indecisive. I encourage you to decide to choose your future today.