Reality Reflection: A Little Communication

I was at a funeral service yesterday and it got me thinking about what my understanding of “traditional songs” are versus what other religious practices have as “traditional songs” and how my traditional songs aren’t necessarily theirs. There’s nothing wrong with each religious group or culture having their own traditions and songs, in fact it’s important because it makes them who they are. It’s also what makes people feel at home when they connect with these groups and even can be the reason they join these groups.

The challenge comes in when you’ve got people from other groups interacting with your group. In this internet accessible world it’s very easy to create a resource that visitors can tap into to be prepared for these things. To be completely honest I did do an online search to see what the typical practice was for this type of religious funeral service so that I was somewhat prepared. Had there been a helpful link to a blog post or other form of information on the funeral home’s page for the person who passed that would have been even better because in a matter of seconds I could have found out exactly what I needed to know about the specific plans for his funeral and what I should expect (and then I would worry a whole lot less about whether or not I was doing the right thing at the right time).

But this is about a much bigger conversation. There are so many ways to remove the isolation in many parts of our daily lives or at least limit it that we’re not tapping into. You hear all the time about buzz words or industry-specific terms that people don’t understand because it’s too technical or they’re new to the industry or business, or confusion over typical processes and procedures. It costs very little to put up a page on your website with all these items explained clearly. Then you’ve helped visitors feel a little more comfortable with you and you’ve established that you are someone to be trusted and that you’re willing to work with people to help them get up to speed and will do your best not to overwhelm them.

The same is true for our lives. If we took a few seconds to send out a text or call or email or write a note and communicate the details to those who need to know, we’d avoid so many fights and frustrations and our relationships would be healthier too. It’s important to set up a central communication point or method as a family so that everyone is aware of where notes would be or how best to get in touch with  whomever needs to be reached.

It’s amazing what a few seconds of research or considerate communication can do for someone. What will communication do for you this week?

Reality Reflection: Where I Belong

This past weekend I’ve been reflecting on the upcoming celebration of Independence Day here in the USA and thinking about all that it means to us even so many years later. One of the things I’ve been reflecting on are the men who signed the Declaration and the women (and kids) who were part of the country as it was being established. These people chose to come to the US because they wanted freedom from Britain’s rule and wanted to be their own people and have more say in what they could and couldn’t do. The stories we hear about are pretty clear that it was very difficult in those first years, and many people died sooner than they would have if they stayed in Britain. But they believed in what they were doing and the future that they were creating.

The accounts of those early years tell us that everyone had to work really hard to build a life here. They didn’t go into a new country like we do today, knowing that it’s almost guaranteed to have available housing and essentials like food and water, they had to start completely from scratch. So by the time they got to the Declaration of Independence each and every piece of the country they built had been built by their hand, with the help of the Native Americans and others who had joined over the years. I can’t imagine how proud they all were of the country they had built and the fact that they were really ready to take some pretty significant steps away from Britain. They had built a place that gave them the freedoms they were looking for, a place to be the people they wanted to be.

We don’t have to do anything nearly as significant as start a new country to experience pride and find a place to belong to in this day and age. There are countless opportunities and ways to make a difference in our world including starting a business or charity, having a family, donating time to the community, being part of a church group, donating to a charity, or starting or joining a group on social media. The important thing is that you find a place, and people, that you fit well with, feel comfortable with, that will support you and that will encourage you to grow. You just might find that in belonging to something and being an integral part of the lives of others you find the freedom and fulfillment you’ve been looking for.

Anointed By God

If you’ve read through the Bible or attended church after the celebration of Easter, you’ve probably heard about the event called Pentecost. It’s written about in the book of Acts in the New Testament (along with a bunch of other really culture-shifting events). During Pentecost “all the believers were meeting together in one place. Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit…” (Acts 2:1b-4a). The whole event was pretty fantastic and hard to believe by those who didn’t witness it, except those who were anointed by the Holy Spirit on Pentecost were, in this specific situation, able to speak in different languages, languages they didn’t previously speak, as evidence of the anointing.

As I mentioned the Book of Acts is filled with stories like this one. From real life interactions with Jesus after He ascended to being brought back to life to shipwrecks and snake bites the book of Acts has lots of crazy stories that line up very well with seeing tongues of fire land on people’s heads. But it’s also got some great insight into what the early church was all about: faith, community, and sharing the Good News. The good news is that there are many churches alive and well today who have taken on those core aspects and continued them today.

Pentecost was an important and amazing event, but what about the rest of us? We aren’t exactly anticipating a Pentecost in 2017, and I haven’t heard of anyone experiencing exactly what the Early Church did back on that first Pentecost since then. First, it’s not necessarily something we should be looking to have happen. Second, as important as the first Pentecost was, there rest of Acts 2 tells us that they (the Early Church) added to their numbers daily. Those people weren’t experiencing tongues of fire, they were just interacting with people who believed in community and the Good News. We don’t need tongues of fire to make us believers or give us any special abilities. The only thing we need is belief in Jesus and the willingness to do His work on Earth and share about Him with others (using words when necessary). You don’t need tongues of fire to know that God has a plan for your life, or to have a calling and mission for Him.  So as you finish up this week I encourage you to look for ways that God is showing up in your life (they may be seemingly ordinary), how He may be leading you to build community and who in your life needs to hear about Him. What will God show you?

Reality Reflection: Everything to Everyone

I’m a fan of saying no to people, you know why? Because you don’t have to be everything to everyone. Not only is is about being honest to who you are and not putting yourself in positions that you’re completely unqualified for or incapable of doing, but because every time you take on something that you’re only slightly capable of (or not at all), you take away an opportunity from someone else who is qualified. If we really want this world to be all it can be, I think we have to be willing to share a little of the control with others, have to be willing to let them do their thing, and not get in the way when they take charge.

Yes, there are time when you’ll go a little outside your preferred box to help a friend or to try something new, and that’s a good thing. We should be trying new things to keep our minds engaged and learning. But we have our safe zones for a reason. The good news is that my safe zone isn’t the same zone as yours. You’ve got talents I don’t have and don’t have any inclination for developing. I believe there are plenty of opportunities for us within the things that interest and drive us that we should never have to take work, resources or life away from someone else.

But that does mean that we all have to step up in that which we are gifted in, and a whole lot less slacking, hiding or letting someone else’s sub-par job suffice. You need to take responsibility for what you can do in this world with your unique talents. Be proud of who you are and what you can do. That doesn’t mean you have to start a business or blog, it may just mean finding a company to work with and bring your unique talents to (one that fits better than your current one), or donating your time on weekends or vacations.

This week I encourage you to give others the chance to do what they do best, and choose to do what you do best. Who knows, you may not cure cancer today, but you certainly may bring a smile to someone’s face or relief to their life in some other way.

Reality Reflection: Memories and Reality

Tomorrow in the USA we celebrate Memorial Day.  It’s one of the days we take each year to honor the men and women who have fought for the country we call home, some paying the ultimate price.  I believe that whether you agree with the concept of war, or even with a specific war, or not, it’s our honor and responsibility as Americans to respect and remember these men and women and their families.

There have been some things that have happened throughout the years that some people more than others have questioned how real they were or what the actual story was (for example the moon landing, Bigfoot and Flight 370 from Malaysia). Unfortunately I don’t think we can ever say that the wars didn’t happen.  There is too much evidence, too many stories and too many people were killed.  The reality is these wars have happened and will continue to happen for the foreseeable future (as much as I wish they wouldn’t).  The reality is there will be men and women who will continue to go to war and their loved ones who will stay home and pray they’ll see them again.

I’ve never joined the military and while my grandfather did he was never one for telling those stories, which is totally understandable.  However, I believe some of the stories should be told.  We should hear how horrible war is occasionally, maybe we’ll fight a few less of them then.  But also, the men and women who fought should feel comfortable telling their stories rather than feeling like they have to keep it to themselves or the only person who “wants” to hear it is their appointed shrink.

So for those of us who aren’t directly part of the war effort, our job is to support those who are.  You can donate to any number of charities who support veterans from employment related ones to those who raise service dogs.  As business owners we can make it a policy to hire veterans and offer discounts to veterans.  And anyone can sign veteran support petitions or volunteer their time for veteran related causes.

The worst thing we can do though is forget (or try to forget) the wars and the men and women who were part of them.  No one deserves to be forgotten, ignored, disrespected or rejected, especially not those who have made such large sacrifices.  Who do you remember on Memorial Day?

Reality Reflection: Focusing on the Real Issue

This week I was visiting the Facebook page of an author I enjoy and saw that their PR person (and friend) had posted an update sharing a little on the health issues the author has had, explaining some of the delays to books being published or written and had some choice words for the people who leave negative comments about how long it takes for books to get done or why the author hasn’t written books they’ve been promising for years.

I know it’s not easy to be disappointed and to wait for things that you’re looking forward to, but no one actually schedules into their life getting sick, divorces, job loss, flat tires or rebellious kids (or any of the other things that pop up into our lives).  I also understand the interest in and need for schedules and deadlines, it’s an important way to make sure things in life (including work) keep moving forward.  But when you’re more concerned by the work than your own health or the health of someone else, I get worried.

I personally love to read, and of course I’m a little sad when I hear that it’s going to be another 6 months or year until one of my favorite authors is coming out with a new book, not to mention how bad I feel for the author and all they’re going through.  But one, I’d rather know the author will write again, than that they’re dead or done writing.  Second, there are so many authors out there in every genre to read that to say you’ve only got one author you read and be completely dependent on them for books is pretty silly.  Finally, if you’re so worked up over the fact that a fiction book isn’t being published or written yet that you have to leave nasty comments, I would have serious questions about your attitude towards life and about what goes on in your life.

But this is about more than just one author or one book, it’s about how we treat each other.  What gives you the right to bash on someone else?  It’s one thing to give feedback to someone or a company in a private manner, it’s another to tell the whole world how they’ve failed you and how pissed you are.  There are a few situations when that’s appropriate, but that’s not the typical case.  There’s also a difference between helping someone move on from a person or situation in their life and being rude and nasty about how stuck they’ve gotten and how stupid you think they’re being.  I know it can be a difficult line to find and not cross, especially in this very public world that we live in, but my encouragement to you would be to take a step back before you offer criticism or say what you’re thinking before you think about it.

I encourage you to choose words that will help, encourage and support this week, and look to build up your relationships, not destroy them.

Reality Reflection: The Next Generation

Today in the US is Mother’s Day.  It’s a chance we all have to celebrate the moms and mom figures in our lives. We’re not at the point that we can just create kids, they’re still born the old fashioned way, even if sometimes a little extra help is necessary to get them here.  I’m amazed with how far we have come with the technology/science we have to help kids into the world, and the technology/science we have that helps us all live longer and enjoy more time together as a family.

This week of course I’ve been reflecting on the upcoming Mother’s Day and on the state of the world and the kids of the world and the moms of the world.  From a quick glimpse at the internet or any TV news program (and many TV shows) it’s pretty evident that there are problems in the world.  Whether we try to be blind to it or not, there’s a huge problem with drugs (and I’m not talking medical marijuana use).  There are too many people dying each day from drug overdoses.  Which also says there are too many people using drugs to escape problems or reach for some high they’re not finding in life normally or doing it to be “cool.”  There are also the stories of the not-so-good moms who don’t seem to have a care in the world, especially not about raising their kids with any manners, good behavior and goals.  There are also some not so good statistics and stories about the kids of the world and some people have concerns about the ability of the next generation to run things in a responsible and thoughtful manner, regardless of their parent/parents teaching.

Can we all use some improving? Yes, absolutely.  But Mother’s Day is a great opportunity to talk about the next generation.  Do I believe that some moms need to step it up and do a much better job? Absolutely.  Some moms don’t have the resources to care for their kids and don’t make any effort to get the widely available resources for them.  They don’t feel that maternal bond or need to care for them that some moms do (the same is true for dads as well).  But if you’ve been around for a bit you know I’m a supporter of the concept of having a village raise a child.  There’s no reason for anyone to try to do it on their own.  That means that each and every one of us has a responsibility to check how we’re behaving and talking around kids, to support child related organizations and charities and to step up for our own families when they need the support.  Tomorrow can be a bright future, but only if we all step up for the next generation.