The Wisdom of Nelson Mandela

One of the great men of all time was born 100 years ago yesterday: Nelson Mandela.  He endured through many challenges and struggles, yet never gave up, never gave up hope and always tried to do the best for everyone involved.  He’s a great example of what’s possible when you do your best, be your best, and lead regardless of the challenges in your past.  So today I thought we’d honor his life by taking a look at some of the great wisdom he shared.  

“To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity.”

“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.”

“Courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.”

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.”

“Even if you have a terminal disease, you don’t have to sit down and mope. Enjoy life and challenge the illness that you have.”

“People respond in accordance to how you relate to them. If you approach them on the basis of violence, that’s how they’ll react. But if you say, ‘We want peace, we want stability,’ we can then do a lot of things that will contribute towards the progress of our society.”

I want to close with an invitation for you to read what other people had to say about the great man.  The words they chose to honor this man reveals yet again what a distinguished, caring and exceptional man he was.  How has Nelson Mandela touched you?

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Reality Reflection: Independence

This week coming up in the US we’ve got Independence Day. As I was reflecting on the history of the day and the topics of freedom and celebration that surround it, I circled back around to the official name of the day: independence. Just about every kid you ever meet will use the phrase “no I can do it” even if they’re really not quite capable yet, because they want to do it themselves and be on their own so badly (or be big enough like their older siblings). It’s an important stage of growth, learning to do things on your own, but as we’ve gotten older I think some of us have lost that independent spirit, or at least the important aspects of it.

Independence goes hand in hand with responsibility. Whether that means wiping up the water you spilled after trying to fill your cup as a kid, or paying bills on time and having money left over in your account for emergencies and special occasions as an adult, if you really want to stand on your own, to have more victories in your life, you have to start taking responsibility. Take responsibility for your dreams, desires and actions (or lack thereof), and start doing something different if you don’t like the direction things have been going in.

Independence is something to celebrate. There’s something incredibly satisfying about saying that you did something all by yourself, even as an adult.  So take time this coming week to celebrate the ways you’re standing on your own, and make a commitment to be responsible and own the independence that you’ve been staring at, perhaps for years.

Reality Reflection: Salute the Flag

Thursday here in the US was Flag Day. The US flag, like some of the other flags around the world is iconic. It’s a flag that many people recognize, even though it’s only looked exactly like it does since 1960. The flag has actually been redesigned 26 times since 1777, and what’s stuck around for all the versions are both the strips and the colors. The current flag is awesome because it honors the past and the present, with the 50 stars representing the 50 states, and the 13 stripes representing the original 13 colonies.

I think the fact that it’s developed and changed over time is also an important reflection on our country. It means that we’ve become our own country (the original flag looked pretty similar to the Britain one where the original colonists were from). We’ve developed our own personality, our own values, and struggled through our own challenges. And we’re still growing, learning, and changing.

Our flag is a symbol of what we’ve been and who we are now, as well as a reminder that we’re strongest and greatest when we work together. Days like Flag Day are opportunities for us to show that we’re part of that nation and proud of it. So whether you get some small flags to stick in your lawn or hang in a window, or are able to hang one from your home or garage, make sure you’re ready for the 4th of July, the next opportunity to show your pride in the USA.

Reality Reflection: One Small Person

This weekend in the US we’re celebrating Memorial Day. It’s a time we take each year to remember and honor the people who have made a huge personal sacrifice, as well as remember and thank their families who have suffered too with their loss. Every so often in the news we hear about one service member being killed or having died as part of whatever conflict they were working on. And maybe we think that one doesn’t sound like a lot, or it doesn’t seem that serious. And in some ways it’s not, because it is only one person and there are many others who are still out there fighting for our country and innocent people around the world.

But the simple fact is one person can have a huge impact on the world, even if that impact seems quite small. For example one soldier may save one child’s life and it seems small in the short run, but to that child’s family and who they may become in the future it is and could be huge.

With each word, action and attitude we each choose, we can make a positive or negative difference in the world, one that can be small or large. Sometimes it’s necessary to be part of a group to really see the impact, like with the Ice Bucket Challenge a few years ago. But often we can see the difference with only our own actions, like when we help someone pick up things they’ve dropped or share some encouragement with someone.

This Memorial Day I encourage you to step up. Don’t let the sacrifice that men, women and their families have made go to waste. And don’t forget to let those you love know that you love them, because you may not get another chance to tell them.

How are You Living Today?

One person I’m always learning from is the late Dr. Wayne Dyer. Today I thought we’d take a look at a quote that speaks to how he lived his life and should inspire us to live ours as well.

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

This quote says to me that too many people are living as though they have forever. Regardless of any spiritual doctrines you follow, right now physical laws dictate that we all die at some point in time. Some of us will live “normal” lives and die from old age essentially, but others of us will not have the blessing to have lived a full life but will die, or be taken as people say, “before our time.”

This is a bit of an oxymoron because the reality is that when our time is up, it’s up. We may think that it’s required to have a full 80 plus years of living, and that the kids, teens, parents, and people who get deadly diseases or are killed just weren’t given that full amount as is their due. But since we’re not “due” anything when it comes to how long we have it’s important to decide how you really want to live out however much time you do have.

I’m all for preparing and planning for any financial, health and end-of-life difficulties. I believe we should anticipate being able to live that long, and that squandering all we have isn’t what living life to the fullest or living this day as the last is really about. Instead, I believe it’s about being more intentional about what will really fulfill us and we’ll want to reflect back on when our life ends. Do you really want to think about that TV show, or would you rather be able to enjoy another memory of walking with your partner or playing with your kids?

Dr. Dyer may or may not have had some idea that his end was near when he died in 2015. But throughout his life, he didn’t give up or stop living when life got tough, he kept going and kept living. Don’t give up on life, don’t give up on trying new things and don’t give up hope for a better tomorrow.

Reality Reflection: Right and Wrong

Let’s be honest, no one really likes to be wrong. We sometimes find a little too much joy in others being wrong, but it’s not so much fun when we’re the issue or we did wrong. I’m secure enough in my relationship with my partner, as well as in my relationship with myself, to almost always be able to admit when I’m wrong. I’m not perfect in that if I don’t have to admit I’m wrong I may not, but when the situation calls for it I can admit I was wrong.

When it comes to being wrong, we’re not usually completely wrong, typically we’re at least partially right or moving in the right direction. Which brings me to the questions that I wanted to talk about today: “what if you were right?” and “what if you were wrong?”

The reason I want to spend time talking about these questions is because they can really open up your perspective and get you to think more creatively about what is possible. What if you were right about how perfect you and your partner are for each other? What if you were right that the weather won’t be too bad tomorrow? What if you were right that you’re worth more as an employee? What if you were right that dogs are the best animal on the planet? What if you were right that you’ve got a dream worth pursuing? What if you were right about your boss being a sexist jerk? What if you were right about the bad direction one of your kids was going in? What if you were right about your partner never changing into the person you thought they were? If you were right what would you do or what would be different in your life?

But what if you were wrong? Would your life fall apart? Would you be able to repair a relationship? Would you spiral into a depression? Would you be able to keep your head high? Would you be able to move away? Would you be able to start over? Would you be able to make new friends? Would you be able to try something new? Would you be able to pay the fine? Would you be able to admit you’re wrong and move on to making changes so you can be right?

What would change in your attitude, your perspective or your hope if you were right or wrong? I encourage you to take time considering these questions as we begin this new week, and seeing how they can open your mind to a different, hopefully better, future.

Reality Reflection: What’s Enough?

This week I’ve been contemplating a difficult topic in our world of consumerism and extreme focus on success and wealth. If you’ve been in the self-help industry for a while, especially the success and career related portions, you’ve probably run across people who say they can help you grow exponentially, and they talk about the people they’ve helped earn multi-six figures and millions (or more) each year. Now, there’s nothing wrong with making good money and with being financially well-off. Having financial resources can make many things in your life easier, and you’ve got lots of opportunities to invest in others and in our world. So here’s the question: is it OK if I don’t really want to make millions each year?

I know it may sound like a silly question, but really, there are people who would be very happy with a fraction of the money some of us make (even if we’re only making 30k per year). Yet I also understand how valuable (and powerful) someone can become when they have all those resources at their disposal. And some people find the thought of having that much wealth intimidating or even fear-inducing. Yet I understand that for some of us that by really living our life purpose we’re going to make lots of money. So is it wrong to want to (or actually) make lots of money, and/or is it wrong to not want to make lots of money?

I think it’s OK to be comfortable where you are as long as you’re covering your basic needs (and the needs of your kids or others under your direct care), and have at least a little plan for the future. It’s also OK to want to earn more and to put in the effort that will get you there. I think it comes down to two questions: are you at peace with where you are financially in your life and are you fulfilled? If you’re not at peace and not fulfilled then it’s time to make some changes to your life and start making more money. That doesn’t mean you have to make millions, just more, and while you may not be ready for millions today, there may be a day down the road that you will be. What are your thoughts on how much is “enough”?