An Enemy of Freedom

As we talk about the topic of freedom this month today I want to talk about the challenging topic of indecision. I talked about what indecision means in your business on my other blog, but here today I want to talk about indecision in your personal life. Let’s face it, sometimes we really stink at making decisions. I get it, we’re tired or there’s too many choices, or not enough choices, or there’s too many opinions, or we’re feeling lazy, or we don’t feel it’s really a priority. But when you don’t make a decision you actually do make a decision, it’s just not the decision you may have made if you actually made a decision. Not having an active role in making the decision leaves you up to the whims of the universe. I like a little luck in my life, but some things are too important to leave up to luck.

Indecision and decision making is an important part of freedom, because without making decisions you’ll never have the freedoms you want, or help others get to that freedom. If others are making decision for you, you may end up at what someone would consider freedom, but not what you want as your freedom in life. So if you’re really serious about having those freedoms in your life, you’re going to have to make some decisions and take action on those decisions.

If you want to beat your struggle with indecision, a really effective way is kind of a trick. Ready? Make more decisions. Yep, that sounds really dumb but if you’re consciously making more decisions you’ll learn how to make decisions through experience so when the big decisions come your way you’ll be prepared to make those decisions quicker and better.

If you’re not sure how to make a decision about something, part of that decision making practice should be to make a step-by-step plan. This should be more of a strategy or plan framework so that you can apply it to other decisions you make. It will probably include listing the options you have, researching your options, setting goals/steps, asking for or finding opinions, and trying things out, and maybe even role playing so you can get a feel for how things might go if you make a particular decision. Of course the last step of every plan or strategy you create is taking action!

As I mentioned in the last point, one of the ways you can make better and quicker decisions, and make decisions at all, is to better tap into the available resources. I hear from too many people in this internet age that they have no clue about being a parent or being in a relationship or starting a business or using social media. There’s almost no excuse for not having or getting some foundational knowledge about any topic you’re experiencing in your life with all the blogs, podcasts, videos, courses, webinars and classes available both online and offline. There are also tons of people in your physical circle as well as online that you can talk to about topics that confuse you, and give you some of the information you need to make your decisions.

But as we’ve said throughout the post today, the biggest aspect of indecision that has to be addressed is action. It’s great to make a decision, but once you make that decision you have to take action on it. Yes, sometimes that will mean you’re not taking action because you decided not to pursue the options that were presented to you, but more often than not you’ll have some things to do, buy or change as a result of the decision you’ve made. Don’t let the fear of taking action or worry about commitment be the reason you are indecisive. I encourage you to decide to choose your future today.

Reality Reflection: Past and Future

I was talking about the show “Hoarders” with a client this week.  I love organization and it’s something I work on with my clients, but it’s not a show I enjoy watching or choose to watch.  I have watched it in the past because of what I do and out of curiosity.  The premise of the show is that there are people whose houses are so crammed full of stuff that they can hardly move.  Something has happened in their lives or the lives of family members and as a result they’re finally deciding to try to do something about the clutter.  The Hoarders team is brought in and together the client and team work to not only throw out or donate a lot of stuff, they also talk about the non-visible clutter that made the visible clutter get this bad in the first place.  I saw a recent commercial for it featuring an individual who had been on the show as a client and he shared his thankfulness about the transformation that took place in his life through the show.   If you’ve seen it you know that as a result of the work the clients do experience great transformations and are given a fresh start at life.

The reason I bring it up is because of the conversation we were having around it.  Yes, the craziness of the hoarding was mentioned, and they said that they sometimes get sucked in and watch because they can’t believe it and it just amazes them.  The reason I like the show is because they achieve a great transformation with it.  I’m not a fan of news TV because often it’s just a report, nothing is done about the issue. Yes, it’s great that issues are coming to light, but just bringing them to light doesn’t really do anything. The rare exception is when someone’s experience or emotions are confirmed around a situation or person and they’re able to find some peace or freedom as a result (like hearing the story of a rape survivor or knowing a dishonest executive was sent to jail may give them some peace even if the individual that raped them or took their money wasn’t).

Yes, I take time to look at the issues with myself and my clients, I don’t believe we can really move on unless we take time to work through them and understand them at least a little and see how they fit into our life story.  But I don’t believe it’s healthy for all of us to be bringing up our history or focusing on what went wrong in our lives all of the time.  I believe there has to be a point at which we choose to move forward and start telling a new story.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to move on to what 2017 has for us. I’m tired of talking about 2016 and the past, and ready to start equipping myself and others to conquer all this year has to offer.  Are you?

How Would You React?

It’s not something everyone does, but when I’m out driving, whether running errands or heading to meet with a client, I listen to the radio.  I’m one of those annoying radio control freaks who constantly changes the channel and only listens to commercials if there isn’t a better option.  As I was driving yesterday I heard that it was National Sandwich Day.  The radio personality said that he called a few sandwich shops in the city where he works (a major US city) to wish them a happy sandwich day.  He went on to mention the name of a sandwich shop and said that they had hung up on him when he called and delivered his cheerful greeting.  Yes, on a major radio station a deli was called out as a grumpy (which leads one to assume they’re not customer-friendly) business.

The other day while driving I heard another story of a little child who started up a conversation with a senior gentleman at the grocery store while she and her mom were shopping.  She told the gentleman that it was her birthday and she talked to/with him for a few minutes and before heading on to do the rest of their shopping the girl asked if she could take a picture with the man.  He agreed, and her mom posted it on Facebook.  After seeing the post a friend of a friend shared that they knew the man and that the man’s wife had recently died and he’d been lonely and struggling to adjust.   The mom reached out to the man through their mutual friends and since that incident they’ve had visits and the gentleman is now part of the little girl’s family.

Why do I share these 2 stories today? I share them because the differing reactions of the people really spoke to me.  Sure, we can react like the deli did and shut people down because we think they’re rude or weird or making fun of us.  Or we can choose to say even just a simple thank you “thank you” or do a little more and be willing to meet a new person and not just judge them for how they look, how old they are or a quirk they may have.

As you finish out this week I encourage you to take a breath before going with your initial reaction in situations that aren’t the norm for you (like in these 2 stories).  Don’t just react and be a jerk or dismiss someone as silly or not important.  That deli could have gotten great publicity, but instead they’re possibly losing business as a result of a snap judgment.  There’s now another family learning from the wisdom that seniors have to offer and sharing the gift of being alive and enjoying life with each other across multiple generations.  What will your reaction be today?

Ready for New Things?

I don’t know about you, but the events of late really point out to me that we need to be doing something different in this world.  It’s not OK that we’re killing others as violently and frequently as we are, nor is it OK for the violence to be all we talk about or see in the news.  So all of these events have me thinking about changes that need to happen in the world, as well as the changes that we go through in our lives and maybe are going through right now.  The Bible does talk about things becoming new and the importance of new things, so today I want to take a look at some of those verses.

“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!””  Revelation 21:5a

“You have heard my predictions and seen them fulfilled, but you refuse to admit it.  Now I will tell you new things, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past.”  Isaiah 48:6-7a

These verses are really important because they are clear in that God sometimes thinks that what needs to happen are new things.  Sometimes things have to change, they can’t stay the same, and even more than that, God makes plans to change things.  We as a people have always been about improving things and making things better, so if we’re all about that, wouldn’t God be too?  If you look at the New Testament stories including those about Peter and the sheet of animals in Acts 10, as well as countless stories of Jesus turning old religious beliefs and traditions on their heads, it’s pretty clear that God is interested in making things new and isn’t willing to be stuck in the old or past if it’s not what’s best or what’s right.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”  2 Corinthians 5:17

But not only is God interested in changing things, He’s interested in changing people.  When someone chooses to accept Jesus as their Lord they’re supposed to make changes in their life that include leaving hurtful practices and relationships behind, and moving into those that are in line with God’s commands and the calling He places on our lives.  Since we’re still sinners we won’t get it perfectly right, but we’re still called to do better every minute of every day and try to better follow the example Jesus gives us.

Are you going through a transition in your life right now or are you able to be of support to others who are going through transitions?  If you can, be a word of hope to all you meet,  especially those going through transitions.

Do You See What I See?

I love writing and reading, it’s something I’ve always loved. I enjoy the story as well as the process of doing the writing, and creative outlets like writing are an important part of my life and health. You may be familiar with the debate that’s been raging for some time about how many blogs and books there are and how sometimes it seems like everyone is saying or writing the same thing. Maybe there aren’t any new ideas, but I haven’t read too many books or blog posts that were exactly the same. Everyone and just about everything is different in at least a couple of ways, and I believe we can keep writing and reading because everyone sees things a little differently, and, even more importantly, I believe that there are still some new things and thoughts to come.

If you had asked someone in the 1800’s about what they thought the future would hold, they might have come up with some interesting ideas, but I have my doubts that they would come up with laptops and iPads, or the ability of the internet to connect different parts of the world instantly. So I don’t think it’s possible for us to run out of ideas, we’re just in a phase where we’re working with what we have and not ready to make a big upgrade yet. When it comes to the concepts that people say are overdone and overrated and overused, I’m always amazed when I read a new author or article about a topic and see things differently because I’m seeing things through a new perspective, their perspective.

Yes, there will always be someone who sees too many similarities and can’t appreciate the creative output. There will always be a critic in your life that you can’t stand. Why? Because some people just can’t see beyond their personal box. That’s not wrong, it’s just how they are. But I believe life is to be lived and can’t be fully lived if you’re not willing to see beyond where you are.

“Faith is raising the sail of our little boat until it is caught up in the soft winds above and picks up speed, not from anything within itself, but from the vast resources of the universe around us.” W. Ralph Ward

Cleaning Up for Spring

It seems like spring is really here! There are signs of spring everywhere. But what I’ve seen this week as well is something that I’ve noticed in past years: the world looks really dirty and drab after winter. There’s something about the combination of spring sunlight and bits of green poking out that make it really obvious how much of a toll the death and stillness of winter has, not to mention what we do with our liberal use of salt on roads and parking lots.

It’s a little discouraging to look outside and see that drab and dead looking world compared to the bursts of spring that are popping up. It got me thinking about our lives though, and how we go through these cycles too. Have you moved any furniture recently? If so you’ve probably met up with a dust bunny or a family of them. What did you do? Be honest, did you just move the furniture into position and let the dust bunnies resettle where they would or did you get out the vacuum and clean them up?

Sometimes what’s necessary is not just “new” but to clean out the old. Don’t just paint over the bad stuff in your life or the stuff you don’t like, take the time to do what you can to actually get rid of it. Don’t keep it hanging around for old times’ sake, there’s no reason to if you don’t like it.

Sometimes you can move stuff around and it’s the a fresh perspective that you were looking for. But more often than not what’s necessary is some actual cleaning and removal. Do the best and most complete job the first time around rather than having to come back again when spring has sprung in your life and you’ve got all this new growth competing with all that’s left over from the past. What will you clean up this week?

“The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.”  Harriet Ann Jacobs

Free to Let Go

As I shared last Monday, this month our topic of freedom is letting go. It’s a topic that will challenge us, in many ways like the topic of change does because that’s essentially what change is: letting go of what was to get to what is. If you’ve been following along for a while you probably know that I see change as a form of freedom because when we’ve got the ability to change things we’ve got the power to do just about anything we can dream up with our lives. When we see things as rigid and unchanging we’re trapped, we can’t move forward, can’t go backwards, we’re stuck. But when we open ourselves to change we’re given the keys to the kingdoms of our lives.

One of the biggest challenges is that you may not be able to see beyond the past or the present to what could be. I’ve learned throughout my life that refusing to see the options that are available, the different perspectives of a situation or person, and be open minded to the possibilities is the quickest way to limit yourself and your potential. Saying things like “this is how we’ve always done it”, “no that’s not possible”, “that’s not how things are done around here” or “people don’t act that way around here” are great ways to sell yourself and others short and sustain judgments and stereotypes that need to be conquered.

Yes, letting go can hurt. It’s not easy to let go of the things and people that have meant a lot to you in the past. But the other side of letting go is that you’re able to let go of that which holds you back to be free to discover that which is truly you, not the you others want you to be or the you that doesn’t want to get up in the morning, but the you with infinite potential and capabilities, stuff that most people don’t begin to tap into during their lifetimes. Choose not to live in the past but to keep moving into the future where there are greater potentials and opportunities.

“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” Deepak Chopra