The Courage to Say Enough

There’s a point in your victory journey that you have to decide if you’ve reached the goal or if there’s still more mountain you can climb. One of the world leaders I’ve paid attention to is Jacinda Ardern, the New Zealand Prime Minister, who announced that she’s stepping down from her leadership position even before a new election can happen. Why? Because she feels she’s done the job for as long as she can, for as well as she can and now she needs to pass the baton off to someone else. I’ve admired her leadership for many reasons including how self aware she is. How do I know she’s self aware? Because in the minds of many she has been successful as one of the top leaders of the world while giving birth to and raising a child and now she says she realizes she can’t do it any longer. Jacinda feels she’s reached the top of this mountain in her life, she’s successfully completed the victory journey, and now it’s time to climb down from this mountain and move on to the next one.

It takes a ton of courage to decide that you’ve reached your mountain top in a victory journey and be able to let it go before you end up falling down the other side. You have to really be in tune with who you are, with your limits, with your risk tolerance, with your energy levels, with your responsibilities, and even with your goals for the long term beyond your current victory to be able to make a wise decision about what’s best for you and anyone else who may be affected by your continued presence and efforts to stay on the mountain top. I have yet to hear about or work on a victory that doesn’t have an end (or goal to reach which is how you know you’ve accomplished the victory), or at least a completion before the next level of the victory journey begins, and people who work on victories in their lives regularly don’t usually have one victory and are done, they keep growing and learning.

To be clear, this is a big difference from saying you’re not going to be able to reach the mountain top and that you’ve done your best and now are deciding to move on to a new victory journey with the lessons you learned from this partially successful one. In this case you have indeed accomplished the victory you set out to accomplish, you celebrated that accomplishment and have done anything else that needs to happen to wrap up the victory and now it’s time to move on to the next stage of your life. I know it’s not easy to say good bye to the mountain top and your successful victory, but you can’t get to the next great victory unless you say thank you to this victory experience and step forward with courage into the next. Is it time for you to move on to a new victory journey?

A Snowy Path to Peace

“Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

As you probably know these are the words of the famous poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost. I know it may seem like a strange text to include for the topic of peace, but like Psalm 23, sometimes you have more peace when you recognize how far you are from your goal, the danger you’re in, the challenges you face, or the fact that you’re not alone on the journey. Both Robert Frost’s poem and Psalm 23 remind us to look around and appreciate what we can from the world that surrounds us. Darkness isn’t always seen as beautiful or peace-inspiring, many people avoid it because it can be intimidating and can hid scary or dangerous things. But in some of those dark nights when the snow is falling or has fallen there’s a silence and bit of magic that can’t be replicated during the day time, and I can understand why the person in this poem would stop for a moment to reflect on their surroundings.

So the next time you think you’re overwhelmed by your surroundings or that everything is wrong in your part of the world at the moment, pretend you’re deep in the woods on this snowy evening breathing in the crisp air, hearing your faithful horse ready to move ahead when you are, seeing the snowy branches shine in the moonlight and knowing that a good destination does await you when you finish this journey.

Victories vs. Discouragement

This week in a sermon I was reminded about one of the baggiest enemies to achieving victories: the discouragement of others. It’s really hard to make progress on, let alone actually achieve, your victories when other people are either not encouraging you to achieve victories or outright discouraging you from really working on what you think you want for yourself and your life. Even if they have the very best intentions at heart, their discouragement makes us doubt the victories we think we want and are working hard on, and rethink things. Sometimes that’s a good thing because we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves or trying to change too fast and they provide a necessary reality check, but other times it’s one of the worst things that could happen to our victory efforts because it takes us away from what could have been something great.

I know it can be hard to believe that someone wouldn’t want what’s best for you, because deep down most of us are truly caring people who want the best for everyone, so yes, sometimes people question our victory work because they think it will be too hard and they’re looking out for our best interests, or they’re concerned that the change we’re working on is not going to be good for us. But sometimes the jealousy gets the best of us, or we are afraid that if someone changes something in their life they’ll pass us by and leave us behind, or maybe we get upset that they’re reaching out for what they want and yet we seem so stuck because everything we try fails, and yes, we end up discouraging their efforts or even going so far as to make fun of them for it.

Sometimes people will think that you’re no more fun because you’re so different and are doing different things, and sometimes they’ll think you’re making a mistake making the sacrifices that you’re making to work towards your victories. But they aren’t seeing the vision for the future that you’re focused on. They don’t see the value in the sacrifices you’re making, they don’t have the discipline to build on incremental growth, they don’t see the potential in what your future could be even though right now may not be the most fun or most exciting time. But you do. You see the bigger picture, you understand what could be, you know that you’re tired of how it has been and want something different. So you’re willing to keep your eye on the prize and work for it.

Don’t be ashamed of your plans and victory goals especially when they have to do with you being a healthier, happier, freer, more grounded, person who is blessed and thriving in the life they’re working towards. Tap into the courage you had when you started your victory journey and choose to keep stepping forward with wise actions and the support of people who have a similar vision for the future as you do.

Victories Are Worth the Effort

If you’ve been reading the news or watching TV, or just hanging around the proverbial water cooler, recently you’ve probably heard about the big winter sporting event happening right now with representatives from around the world: the winter Olympics. I haven’t watched many of the events, but I have kept my ears open to hear about the events, the competitors and any other happenings related to them. One of the things I’ve heard discussed several times is about age and time. At least one competitor had been dreaming about being in the Olympics since they were a young child, and now in their late 20’s they’re there. Several competitors have overcome serious injury or illness to be part of this year’s events. Some of them are considered “old” to be competing, and yet they’re racing and even getting medals. Some have been at more than 4 winter Olympics. Some are finally back at this level of competition after trying to get back after more than 15 years.

At the end of January I shared a post about how age matters less for some things, that we shouldn’t give up on our dreams or on doing things just because we’re getting older (or are “old” by society’s standards). Hearing all these stories about the different athletes at the winter Olympics is another reminder that you’re never too young to start working on something, you’ve always got a chance to make a comeback if you put in the time and effort, and sometimes it does take decades for you to achieve something incredible like attending the Olympics in the first place. But each and every one of them has made some incredible sacrifices to get to this point. They’ve given up things without any guarantee that they would get to the Olympics this year, let alone win.

But even with all the sacrifices and uncertainty, with each and every story you hear, you know how much they love what they do. Of course all of us toy with big dreams, but most of us don’t truly love those dreams or what it would take to get to those dreams. But these men and women are excited about what they do, they’re experts in their field and thankful to be living the incredible life and having this opportunity to compete. They’re committed to doing the best they can for themselves and for the country they represent as well. They’re also there to support and celebrate with their fellow athletes.

Sometimes love comes with sacrifices. Sometimes it’s a long and challenging journey. But if it’s really love, it’s worth it. If it’s really your victory to achieve, you’ll have the dream, drive, passion, attitude, patience, support team, and ability. You’ll also be willing to go big knowing that you may not make it and you may fail, because yes, the experience itself is worth it, and beyond that of course fulfilling your great victory, your biggest dream, is worth it.

True to God

Part of life that’s never easy is when you lose people. In the last days of 2021 and these early days of 2022 we’ve already lost some people who were legends of their industry, names that will never be forgotten including: “Meat Loaf,” André Leon Talley, Louie Anderson, Thich Nhat Hanh, Bob Saget, Sidney Poitier, Betty White and so many more. Part of the reason these people were so legendary is because they were themselves and brought something to the world that only they could bring and remained committed to being themselves and bringing their gift to the world. Each of them faced challenges in their life, and they weren’t loved by everyone, but that didn’t stop them from working hard and trying their best and staying as positive as they could despite the challenges they faced.

As I was thinking about these talented individuals and their loss, I was reminded of a couple of people in the Bible who would have fit well with these people. Jonathan, David’s best friend and also King Saul’s son, was a leader in his own right, but he was also wise and willing to follow God’s leading to David being the new king and his father not being the king (1 Samuel 13-2 Samuel 1). Daniel was courageous time and again and consistently chose to do what he believed God wanted him to do whether it was eating healthy foods or praying, and even if it got him into some tough spots like a fiery furnace or the lion’s den (book of Daniel). Saul/Paul became one of the most well known people of the New Testament with his crazy conversion story when God stopped him on the road to Damascus, but he continued his fervent preaching and teaching and faced many challenges and persecution as a disciple of God (the book of Acts and others in the New Testament).

Most of us won’t become as famous as any of these people I’ve mentioned today, but that’s not the point since none of them did what they did because their only goal was to become famous. The message here is that it’s always best to be true to who you are, and be the person God made you to be. Don’t question the giftings and experiences He gives you, instead learn how He wants you to share those gifts and experiences with the world. The goal is to do your best with what God gives you and touch the people He gives you opportunity to connect with whether it’s ten or ten billion. How are you being true to who God has made you to be?

The Timeline of Dreams

Today the US has honored the life, work and dreams of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. One of the reasons we admire him is because of the changes that he helped set in motion. If he were here today I think he would be proud of some of the work that we’ve accomplished over the years and how many lives he has inspired, and that each year even more people learn about his dream and give their effort to making that dream come alive. But he, like so many others, didn’t live to see his dreams fulfilled. That’s the thing about having big dreams that take many people and a lot of teamwork to fulfill or accomplish: they take time.

Dr. King’s story reminds me of the stories of Joseph and David in the Bible. Joseph knew that the Israelites would go back to the land God promised them some day, but knew he would die years before that would happen. He wanted to be part of that journey and asked that his bones be taken back, which the Israelites did when they were finally freed from Egypt (Genesis 50, Exodus 13, Joshua 24). Many years later we meet David who was one of God’s chosen leaders of the people of Israel, but because of some choices David made, he wasn’t able to see God’s temple built in the promised land. David’s son Solomon was given the task of building the temple though and he was able to see the dreams of his father finally fulfilled (1 Kings 5-7).

No, not all dreams take generations to accomplish, some people are given the gift of seeing their great dreams accomplished in their lifetime, and other people aren’t big dreamers but they have dreams of a family and grandchildren and they’re able to see those dreams fulfilled before they die. In one way this is something that makes dreams special: dreams aren’t ordinary, every day wishes or things we try on for size, they’re big heart-felt visions for positive change or desires about the legacy we hope to leave. So I don’t think Dr. King should be discouraged that he didn’t get to see his dream totally fulfilled before he was killed, but neither should we stop pursuing his dreams because so much time has gone by since then (50+ years). The only reason to stop pursuing a dream is because it no longer applies to the world (like a dream of owning a large chain of music record stores). So don’t give up on your dreams or on helping fulfill dreams you think are important just because time has passed. Be encouraged by the stories of Joseph and David, and the progress seen on Dr. King’s dreams as you look at your own.

Reality Reflection: 365….And Go

Today begins a new year, 365 new days to grow, learn, fail, try, explore, wait, relax and anything else you want to include. I’ve never been a huge celebrator for the new year, I’ve always enjoyed celebrating other holidays more. I think it’s hard to celebrate the new year when the only thing that has really changed is the date on the calendar, which is something technically that happens every day, so is it really that special? Rather than celebrating the new year, I tend to be more thankful for the new year and the fact that we’ve been alive another 365 (or 366) days, and hopefully we’ll be able to be thankful for the same thing in 365 or 366 days.

So today is day one of the 365 (this year), and that really brings us to the question we should be asking ourselves each day: what will you do with today? Maybe it won’t be a day that you hit the proverbial home run, maybe it will just be a day that your activities are very ordinary and basic (ordinary and basic don’t mean unimportant, as making sure the house is clean and bellies are full are two basic but important activities). I think the bigger question and challenge to each of us is if we’re going to let the bad stuff distract us and drag us down as much as we have in the past, or if we’re going to get better at picking ourselves (and each other) up and dusting ourselves off and getting back in the game. Are we going to let the stress get the best of us? Are we going to focus on the problems more than potential solutions and resolutions? Are we going to work smarter and harder? Are we going to take the time to see the sunrise or sunset, smell the flowers, watch the kids play, laugh over puppy videos, and/or snuggle up with our significant other just because?

We’ve all gotten the lesson over the past two years that no two days are the same and you can never predict what the future will hold, which is why it’s important to take the opportunities that come to you or that you make, whether they’re opportunities for success or for personal enrichment. What will you use your 365 days for in 2022? What will 2022 be the year of for you?

“Don’t waste the good days:
If you’re feeling creative, do the errands tomorrow.
If you’re fit and healthy, take a day to go surfing.
When inspiration strikes, write it down.
The calendar belongs to everyone else. Their schedule isn’t your schedule unless it helps you get where you’re going.”
Seth Godin

Reality Reflection: Perspective

Perspective has to be one of my favorite topics to think and talk about because it never ceases to amaze me the different things that people can see even from essentially the same experiences. Occasionally perspective can be expanded or changed individually, for example if you’re out in nature all alone and experience something that you haven’t experienced before or you’re able to work through things in your head and heart finally. But most often perspective shifts and grows through our experiences and discussions with each other.

Yes, sometimes that means a negative perspective shift because others continue to reinforce the negative experiences you’ve had in a situation and you don’t have the opportunity to have an honest and open discussion with them about their perspective and actions. This week my attention was captured by a headline about Dr. Sanjay Gupta sitting down to have a conversation with Joe Rogan on all things health and pandemic. They’re known for their frequently opposing views of the situation, and yet they both chose to sit down and have a public discussion. It’s a discussion that happened largely for the people who listen to Joe, but really was just about two people sitting down and having an honest and open discussion without defaulting to hate or running away or refusal to listen.

So while we can each have some perspective breakthroughs when we’re alone and not influenced by anything other than God, nature and our own minds and hearts, most breakthroughs come when we’re exposed to others and their thoughts, experiences and research. You might have a breakthrough when you’re searching the internet and trying to find answers in articles and videos. You might have a breakthrough scrolling through your social media feed. You might have a breakthrough hearing the same reasons from a 6th person on a topic (I had shared my reasoning with my partner on a topic several times recently but when he heard the same reasoning from someone he worked with for whatever reason it finally clicked for him and he understood what I had been saying too).

I know that sometimes it seems scary to think about what might be beyond the knowledge and perspectives that we have, but there’s not a monster waiting to scare us around every corner. Not everyone is going to be angry, not everyone is going to hurt us, not everyone is going to reject us. Sure, those things will be true for some people we meet, but I have faith that if we’re just a little more open and a little more willing to see life and life experiences from the perspectives of other people we’ll have a healthier, more peaceful world where more people can thrive and more solutions can be found and implemented.

Why Me?

Can you list the people who asked “Why me?” to God in the Bible? Some of the most famous people in the Bible asked God why He picked them for the particular task that they were given. Moses asked God why He picked him to help lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Jonah asked God why He picked him to go to Nineveh. Mary asked God why He chose her to be Jesus’s earthly mother. Even if the Bible doesn’t specifically use those words, I’m sure Joseph, Samuel, Ruth, Job, Judas and even Saul/Paul (at least initially), as well as many others, asked that as well. It’s something we’ll all ask more than once throughout our lives, both about faith related things as well as other areas of our lives.

Sometimes we ask “Why me?” because we’re curious how someone else sees us. This is one of the healthiest reasons why we ask “why me?”. Exploring this question gives us the opportunity to learn how others see us, how others feel we treat them, the things that people see in us that we can’t see because we’re too tied up in what we know about ourselves, and the reasons why people want us to step up.

Sometimes we ask “Why me?” because we’re looking for an ego boost. This is a version that wasn’t in the Bible, but is used by those people who like to hear others talk about them and be reminded how great they are. Yes, it’s nice to hear others give us praise, but humility will get us much further than constantly trying to stay on a pedestal.

Sometimes we ask “Why me?” because we don’t believe in ourselves and our value. This isn’t always a bad reason to ask the question, sometimes we do have doubts and fears, especially after spectacular failures or when we’ve been beaten down by others or our circumstances. We do need the confidence boosts and to be reassured that even though we may have failed in the past, we’ve still got potential and value. Sometimes we just have to be reminded that God has a plan and that He’s going with us through the whole situation.

Sometimes we ask “Why me?” because we’re not ready or willing to take on what we’re being asked to do. This version is exactly the sentiment of Jonah, who didn’t really care for being asked to be God’s messenger. No one really likes to work through the tough stuff in life, but often we go through the tough stuff so that we can help others who struggle. God always has a purpose for everything that happens and at least part of us should be thankful that God chose to use us and wants to share His message through us, even if it’s a difficult experience to live and story to tell.

Have you asked God recently “Why me?” What was His answer to you?

Reality Reflection: Choose Your Own Life

One of my favorite things about summer as a kid, besides the warm weather and lack of early morning school time, was the unlimited reading time. For some reason there’s just something so natural and connected as reading in the summer, whether you do it on vacation, by the pool/ocean, in the hammock, when you’re supposed to be sleeping, in the car if you don’t get carsick, on the deck or patio, or just about anywhere. Since I read so much as a kid/teen I was always running out of (mostly) age appropriate stuff to read from my library and from the other local libraries, and I was intrigued by the series, so one summer I tried a couple of those ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books. And it turns out that I’m not a fan. I really like my happy endings (or cliffhanger that leads into another book that has a happy ending), and I always go into a book with the belief (and hope) that the author knows what they’re doing and I’ll be satisfied with how the story ends up.

Of course, I’ve certainly read a number of books I haven’t liked or haven’t been able to finish, but there’s something very different about reading a book where the choice you make ends up killing the main character (and everyone else) or coming to a ho-hum finish. I love the adventure of not knowing how a story will end or what twists and turns will happen before the ending arrives, but as I said, I don’t like when there’s not a happy ending, and to know that I was kind of responsible for it being an unhappy ending really frustrated me. Needless to say I read a couple of them and never again.

Another reason why I didn’t enjoy these books was because of how many responsible decisions we need to make in our regular day-to-day lives, and reading time should be for adventure or enjoyment (and occasionally for learning). But these books are a good illustration for our lives, showing not only the ways you can screw up your life, but also remind you that when you make good, smart and educated decisions, you’ll often end up with a really great result. You don’t always have the ability to choose that you’ll have a victory at the end of the current journey you’re on, but when you finish that journey you’ll be able to start in on a new one and hopefully in that journey you’ll make better choices, have better connections or even just get lucky. And if you know that something isn’t going the way you thought it would, make a new choice! You don’t usually have to finish out the story with the choice you made, you can change course in the middle of your journey.