Reality Reflection: Weather or not

One of the things that the internet and speed at which information spreads has allowed is a more global discussion on weather. No, I’m not going in the direction of melting icebergs today, I’m talking about the hurricane that’s currently somewhere off of Florida. I tend to be more of someone who looks outside the window and guesses what the weather will be like that day, with of course a nod to what the calendar says and the season we’re in, typically looking in on the predicted weather once a week or so, unless there’s something specific going on that will be affected by the weather.

But like many other people I do check out the huge storms that develop, even if they’re not going to land anywhere near me. There’s something fascinating about a storm that big. Yes, it’s scary and terrible in terms of destruction, and you never want lives to be lost as a result of the storms, but there’s so much power that we don’t see in our lives on a regular basis that it’s really hard to ignore the news and not look into the progress and watch the videos and live streams and see the before and after pictures.

But even with all of our technology we’re still on the side of “it might not happen like that” when it comes to weather. This upcoming hurricane is a great example as it was predicted to hit Florida all along, but right now it looks like it’s going to travel up right off the coast and hit higher up in the US. Just last winter we were predicted to get maybe a few flurries and that storm ended up being one of the biggest of the season, causing tons of traffic accidents and issues. Sometimes they’ll predict rain and you won’t get any. The examples go on. I am OK when it’s not as serious as they’re predicting, but it’s frustrating when it’s way worse than what they predicted.

In some ways it’s good to have something so unpredictable with our very controlled lives. It’s also a good reminder that we certainly don’t know everything yet and really don’t have all that much control over our lives. It’s also a good reminder that we’re still so very dependent on and affected by mother nature and that she’s very independent of us and it’s wise of us to give her the respect she deserves. Sometimes the best thing we can do with our lives is to be patient, take it slow and be prepared.

The Many Sides of Disconnect

When was the last time you thought about the term ‘disconnect?’ It’s a popular term right now with regards to separating yourself from the internet and internet-connected devices. People talk about doing tech detoxes, scheduling (limiting) their device time, and some go so far as to unsubscribe from popular sites. I appreciate technology as much as the next person, but I’m not one to be on my phone all the time, I don’t use all the popular apps and I don’t spend hours of my personal time each week on social media. I do like being able to reach out for help at any time, getting typically accurate answers with a few pushes and having a selection of books available anytime day or night and anywhere I may be.

There’s also the type of disconnect that thankfully is not very common or frequent, and that’s a power disconnect. Hopefully you don’t experience them too frequently or extensively where you are, but I experienced one recently and it reminded me, first and foremost, how blessed we are. With a few notable (mother nature related) exceptions we’re so blessed to have reliable power which brings us internet and heat and electricity to our homes and places of employment. I can’t imagine what it was like back in the years before reliable electricity where when the sun wasn’t up you only had the light of candles or a fire to depend on. Not only is it not very safe, it’s also not very illuminating and has lots of limits compared to what we have today.

There’s one more disconnect I want to talk about today, and that’s a disconnect between you and yourself and/or you and the rest of the world. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what’s going on either in our lives or in the world around us that we get disconnected from the other. Other times we get so sidelined by stress that we’re disconnected from everything and we almost would be comparable to a cat chasing their tail endlessly. It’s frustrating to feel the disconnect and it’s frustrating to see someone in our lives disconnected. If you’re continually hitting a wall in your pursuit of victories or communicating with someone, it’s likely that there’s a disconnect somewhere that you’re missing and until you see it and fix it you’ll keep struggling.

Disconnects can be good and they can be bad. If you’re feeling overwhelmed maybe it’s the right time to do a bit of disconnecting, and get some things off your plate for a time. But keep your eyes open and watch for disconnects that you don’t want or need in your life, the sooner you address them, the healthier your relationships will be and easier it will be to reach your victories.

Whispers from God

I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot, and especially about the relationship that we have with God. With each verse in the Bible I read I’m reminded of how incredible He is and how little we really understand Him. Yes, we can simplify it and wrap it in a nice package and say God is love, grace, forgiveness and salvation, but the list of characteristics could extend indefinitely, and each of us would come up with a different list of who God is to them.

The Bible gives us an in-depth look into the lives of dozens of people in different life situations and stages of their relationship with God, one of which is Elijah. Elijah was a prophet in the Old Testament, who connected God and people of all walks of life from kings to single mothers. He didn’t die of anything traditional, instead God took him away when it was his time (2 Kings 2). During his ministry he did everything from raising the dead, and calling down fire to defeat false prophets in an epic showdown.

One of the special things about the Bible is that it doesn’t just show the stories of people, it shows personal interactions between people and God. Elijah experienced a rather special supernatural event and communication from God while he was taking a bit of a sabbatical. He was feeling discouraged as many of us do, especially as we see the world moving around us and some of the terrible things that go on. During that time of rest and prayer God stopped by to speak with him and find out what he was doing, because it looked an awful lot like Elijah was doing more hiding than renewing (which he admitted he was).

So God decides to put on a bit of a show for Elijah, and sends a windstorm, earthquake and fire his way. 1 Kings 19 makes it clear that although God sent those natural events his way, God wasn’t actually in them. 1 Kings 19:12b says “And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.” And in that whisper God’s presence arrived and spoke with Elijah, reassuring and encouraging him and sending him back to the mission field.

God made a point during this interaction with Elijah to show that He was more than capable of showing up in big and powerful ways, but that what was most needed, and He was capable of doing, was showing up in a still small voice. The same is true for our lives, God can show up in big and powerful ways, but He can also show up in the moments of quiet. I think God tends to show up in the moments we’re able to be quiet and pause more often because the world we live in is focused on the big and the bold (think number of likes on social media, going viral, being a celebrity etc.), so rather than attempt to compete with that or try to one-up everyone else trying to be on top, He chooses to show up in the moments we intentionally make time for Him.

I encourage you to make time regularly in your schedule to stop and spend time with God. Maybe that means going to a church that’s open for quiet prayer during the day and making that your lunch break, or starting a time of meditation after you put the kids to bed, or using the time that you spend alone in your car to talk with God (not ideal, but better than nothing). The more you make time for God, the healthier your relationship will be and the more you’ll hear from Him through prompts, peace and maybe even words.

Reality Reflection: Present Today

With as much as goes on in the world and online in this day and age, sometimes it’s not about having the best idea or doing something specific, but just about showing up. People have been standing in Hong Kong not technically doing anything and not sharing ideas, just being there, visibly showing that they exist and want to be heard. You may not have the most exciting job in the world, but your continued persistence in doing a good job day in and day out may make all the difference in the world for your company, and for your career advancement. You and your partner may not have large amounts of money or go on really extravagant dates, but lots of communication and just being together can make your relationship healthier and thrive more than many others.

Whether we’re talking family parties, holiday gatherings, or charity/non-profit events, you don’t have to know how you’re going to help get things ready or cleaned up, or the opportunities or happenings while you’re there, you just have to show up willing to help and participate and be your wonderful self.

Everyone has room for improvement, and yes, some of us do go through experiences and seasons of our lives where we have to go through major changes and overhauls that are painful, challenging and/or more extreme than the average person or family.  But often that improvement amounts to some tweaks and general age/maturity related growth, not major life changes, and for many of us just showing up and making the gradual changes that life prompts is more than enough for us to thrive in our lives and have great relationships.

Whether you’ve got a list of things to get done today or you’re just taking it easy, choose to be present with the people you meet, the places you go, the things you’re feeling and experiencing and the world around you.   Put down your phone, look around you, don’t worry too much about what’s in the past or future and just live in the moment and what is going on here and now.

“You don’t need a plan; you just need to be present.” Bob Goff

Stepping Up

It’s almost funny how we adults shy away from questions that kids sometimes ask. Yes, as adults we do know more answers than they do (for example about the birds and the bees), but there’s still a ton that we don’t know. For instance why don’t we ask or investigate when something doesn’t seem right with someone we love? Why aren’t we asking when something in our bodies doesn’t seem right or frustrates us? Why aren’t we talking with our partner before we get to the point of everything being a screaming match? Why are we still using products that are poisoning us and our world?

Why aren’t we asking for help? Are the potential answers and solutions so scary and unacceptable that we choose not to ask the questions? Or else why are we avoiding the questions, especially when asking them could do a lot of good in our lives and the world?

It’s easier than ever to find answers, even multiple answers. It’s easier than ever to connect with other people who have similar questions and experiences as you do. We could be celebrating more victories instead of dealing with more tragedies if we would just step up and ask some questions and do some research.

So go ahead and step into the coming season.  Choose to be brave and live your life to the fullest.  Choose to ask the questions that may be embarrassing or seem obvious if and when you have them.  Choose to be curious and explore what seems interesting to you.  Choose to make smarter decisions that will better support you and the world we all share.  Choose to take the best path, not (just) the fastest or easiest.  And encourage others to do the same so that we can all have more victories.

A Faith Journey

When He left, Jesus gave the command to take the Good News into all the world. His time on earth showed that some people needed to rethink their idea of who was welcome into the kingdom, because Jesus did a really good job of turning them on their heads by eating with tax people, caring for those who were ill, and talking with those who had multiple husbands. God made sure the message got reinforced and shared after Jesus went back to heaven with Peter’s vision of the animals in the sheet (Acts 10-11) representing the welcoming of any nation who fears God and does right.

So it’s not a huge leap to get to the idea that anyone could get into heaven, as long as they’ve been forgiven of their sins, have a relationship with God and believe in Him. Which is why we should first and foremost be open and willing to tell whomever God puts in our path about the love that He has shown us, about how He has supported us, and how He cares for us. We should do the very best we can with each and every opportunity that God sends us, give them the care, respect and opportunity that each of us would want.

But there’s two other sides to this, neither are as hopeful. The first is the fact that you individually can’t save everyone. Even someone with the reach of a Billy Graham, Kirk Cameron, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer, or Steven Furtick can’t save everyone, it’s why we are all called by the Great Commission. Sometimes we have to choose to save the one or two people that we can. The lesson applies to other areas of our lives; we should do our best and let God handle the rest. God knows the potential of that one person you may bring to God, you can only do your part.

The third side is a story that is seen in 3 of the 4 gospels (Matthew 10, Mark 6, Luke 9 and 10) and in Acts as well. It’s the recommendation of Jesus to shake the dust off your feet when you’re not welcomed in a home or town that you’re traveling through or bringing God’s message of peace to. Basically it’s suggesting to leave them to whatever fate they may have. Maybe that means years from now something will change, maybe it doesn’t, but according to these stories, it’s not our job to be overly concerned or focused on their future. Of course we can pray for them, but each person is ultimately responsible for their own future.

So this week I encourage you to walk with faith.  Do the best you can, live a life that honors God, share your faith and don’t let the negative take you down with it.

Reality Reflection: Tragedy, Humans and Technology

It’s been over 30 years since the disaster in Chernobyl, when there was an accident at one of the nuclear reactors. I have no personal memories of this tragedy (I was too young), but it’s a story that I’ve always followed, maybe because of the haunting images that have been appearing over the years of the homes, schools and businesses that were suddenly abandoned. We know that slowly over the past 30 years nature has been taking over where people used to live and slowly buildings and other things are decaying and returning to more original forms.

I saw an article the other day about a gentleman who flew helicopters over the site in the days after the disaster to measure the temperature and gasses. I always check out stories like these because they give very personal and personable insights into events that don’t come with a lot of details or are still impacting the world today. In the article he tells how he knew it was dangerous but there wasn’t really an option, someone had to do it because they had to get that information. Today thankfully we would be able to send a drone over the scene of the accident and let the drone get the data without having to put any human lives in harms way.

I’m thankful both for the people who go into harms way to help the rest of us like police and fire workers, as well as for the updates in technology that gives the humans a helping hand and keep them safer. We’re not yet at the place where we’re avoiding all accidents, but we have come very far in these past 30 years to where we are avoiding danger more and staying safer.

I believe that we need to support technology development more because it can help keep us safer, move resources where they can be better used, and reduce waste. But there will always be a need to be brave and courageous, to have people help people. The world is better because we have other people to share it with. If anything as technology develops and advances we need people who are more responsible and keep tabs on technology to make sure we’re using it to help and not to harm.  Both people and technology can be good and bad, it’s up to each of us to make sure that they are helping victories happen.

Victories for Now or Ever

How often do you think about the concept of forever? I was watching a show the other day and in it a character got to the point in her romantic relationship that she understood it wasn’t going to develop into anything more than it was at that point. She had to make a decision regarding whether she was going to accept the limits on the relationship and be OK with that, or if she wanted something more/different/deeper. Sometimes in a relationship you don’t want more, you’re happy with what you have, or it’s OK for the time being and there’s no real reason to push for more or make changes. Other times you’re kind of stuck and it will be a more “forever” relationship like family or the parent of your child(ren).

The same is true for victories. You don’t always have to make forever decisions, changes or moves. You can make a “for now” move or relationship to help you go in the direction of your current victory, and then move on and make changes once you’ve accomplished that victory. And of course some moves you make will result in permanent relationships and changes that will forever affect you, hopefully in a good way.

Victories are both forever victories and in-the-moment victories. It’s an in-the-moment victory to complete a project for work, but it’s more of a forever victory to become a partner or manager at your job. It’s an in-the-moment victory to make a new dish for your family, but it’s a forever victory to successfully plan a family reunion event. It’s an in-the-moment victory to run the vacuum through the house, but it’s a long-term victory to get the whole place deep cleaned and organized. It’s an in-the-moment victory to eat a healthy meal, but it’s a forever victory to daily make good food choices. It’s an in-the-moment victory to be polite to someone, but it’s a forever victory to choose a good relationship over one that causes harm.

Life is about the for-now moments and relationships as well as the forever ones. You don’t have to be on one side of the fence all the time or the other, and sometimes even forever victories are really only very memorable victories, not those that last forever. Are you placing the right amount of importance and effort into your victories?

Balance with God

I recently read an article about Joanna Gaines of Fixer Upper fame in which she shared about some of the things she’s tried and choices she’s made when it comes to the topic of life balance. I’ve always believed in the concept of balance from a ‘you can’t just give or take all the time’ perspective and with a thought to how significantly (and negatively) many areas of your life can be affected if you only give your attention and time and resources to one area of your life (i.e. your work). Life balance doesn’t have to be defined as spending equal time in each aspect of your life, life balance can be defined as making sure that the ways you’re spending your time fulfill the different needs and wants in your life as well as meeting the commitments you make.

Going back to Joanna Gaines, one thing that was shown frequently in her TV show was the kids coming to work with her/her and her husband. The article talks about how she, like many of us, tried to put her life into neat and tidy boxes and found it didn’t work for her. She found that “balance” didn’t equal wholeness for her. Maybe that’s something you can identify with, that trying to separate out your life doesn’t work so well, because you’re not just a mother or father or sister or brother or significant other or employee or boss or homeowner or runner or biker or foodie, you’re many things all put together. Trying to separate yourself is like trying to separate the red from the purple so you can have blue.

All this goes right back to you and God. God doesn’t want to be in your life for only part of it or in certain ways, He wants to be part of all of it. He wants to celebrate with you and pace with you and struggle with you and work hard with you and succeed with you. He wants to be there for the ups and the downs. He isn’t a God of only Sunday mornings and/or Wednesday evenings, He wants to be part of the other 5 or 6 days and other 160 some hours too. God is God because He’s aware of everything and everyone and can be everywhere at the same time. He’s capable of dealing with what’s going on in my life as well as your life and 100 of our closest friends all at the same time.

God doesn’t need or want you to tuck Him into a little corner or part of your life, He wants to be part of all of it.  Think of it like taking your cell phone everywhere, He just goes where you go.  What will you do this week to help God be part of more of your life?

Reality Reflection: Alone out there?

This past week an interesting article caught my attention. The headline talks about how 22% of millenials they surveyed say they have no friends. In case you don’t remember who fits in what category, millenials are those born between the early 80’s and late 90’s (between 23 and 38 years of age today). Fitting in that age group I understand the statistic, because I really do enjoy my alone time. As much as I am OK with being around people and need people in my life, I’m also very happy to be by myself and do my own thing. To be clear, loneliness is something that every generation struggles with at different points in time, from the youngest to the oldest, because they don’t have friends yet, or all their friends have moved away or passed away, or just because of changes in situation.

The catch the article presents is that millenials seem to be caught between a strong desire to be by themselves and the desire that everyone has to be with others. So why are they lonely or alone? For those who are independent and enjoy being left to their own devices, you can fall into patterns that you forget what it’s like to make friends and how to do it and so as friends move on with their lives you have fewer friends. Others may have struggled in the past with finding people they feel comfortable with and have given up on finding those people. Yes, you can connect with people on social media and it’s better than nothing, but it’s not really the same as meeting up at a coffee house, event, or house and hanging out together and being able to be physically present with them.

The one thing the article doesn’t talk about and doesn’t indicate their research touches on is if they’re OK with not having [lots of] friends. To some degree it’s healthy to be alone and to like your own space. It’s also good to know that you prefer to be alone and to accept that. It’s harder for people who thrive in interpersonal relationships to understand the desire and interest in being alone.  But no one should be an island and everyone should belong to a circle of people, however small, they can trust and rely on.

Having spent an evening in the presence of many tens of thousands people at a baseball game and driving on roads today that were filled with cars and people headed to their weekend destinations, I’m reminded of both the fact that it can be so easy to blend in with the crowd and be alone, and that when we’re surrounded by so many other people that we really aren’t ever alone.

You’re in control of your life, spend time with the people you want to spend time with, explore the world in whatever way both challenges you and helps you feel safe, and know that you can still do your part to be kind to others and help those in need even if you aren’t friends with them.