Reality Reflection: Whose Responsibility is it?

I think that at our heart most of us want to help others and make the world a better place. Sure, we look out for our own interests and we occasionally completely miss what’s going on around us (and cause issues for others), but I feel like if we were given a choice that was win-win, we’d agree to it more often than not. Then you’ve got some people who are people-pleasers. They’re people who go out of their way to try to make others happy, almost always without thought to their own happiness. Then you’ve got the helpers, they’re the people who try to help others even when/if they’re not willing to help themselves. It’s this last one that I got to thinking about today.

I think with our win-win hearts we can often give people the motivation or encouragement, and certainly provide them with the opportunity to step up to the plate and do something good/better for their lives. That’s one of the best ways that we can help each other. It goes in line with the ‘teach a man to fish’ quote. For those of us who have that heart it’s tough to see people who aren’t willing to take that hand and get the help they need.

While there’s not set time on how long you should try to help someone, at some point you may have to step back and just let the cards fall where they may. Your job is to be responsible for your life and the lives of anyone who is physically dependent on you (a child, elderly individual or individual with special needs). It’s not your job to be responsible for the whole world. It’s a tough and disheartening lesson to learn.

Even when you decide to take a step back (or another one), that doesn’t mean you have to give up hope, it just means that you’re not going to step up either when the other person won’t.  There’s nothing wrong with helping others, in fact it’s essential to all of us thriving in this world.  But you can’t force people to change or become someone or do something they’re ultimately not willing (or don’t care enough) to do.  Do you need to take a step back today?


Reality Reflection: Educating the Voters

It’s that time of year again, election season! I don’t know about you but it is getting harder than ever to put on the TV without seeing a commercial about a politician or even just going around town there are all kinds of banners and signs up promoting different politicians. I’ve always voted, my preference is to do it by mail rather than attempt to make it to the actual polling stations on the one day that voting is done. It’s a lot less stressful that way and being that I’m not one to just vote for one specific political party by default it gives me the time to consider my decisions and know all the people up for vote before making a decision.

I love that we’re able to vote in the US for the people that we have in office. I appreciate that we’re able to have some say in who gets elected, or at least show that we care about how things get done in our country. But there’s one thing I hate about voting, especially as someone who isn’t voting by default party, is that there’s little or no information about the majority of the people who are up for election online.

Why does that matter? Because I want to know who I’m voting for, I want to know that I’m voting in the people I think will do the best job or have the relevant experience or might help bring about needed changes. But I can’t know those things unless the information about them is shared!

Sure the top candidates like senators have information online, but when you get down into the local government you’re lucky to be able to put a face to a name let alone find where they stand on issues or how they’re going to help the community. Anyone can make a free website and create free social accounts. They don’t have to be fancy or have lots of political dollars behind them to share who they are and why people should vote for them. If they want to be elected that’s the least they should do in this day and age of the internet.

Gone are the days when politicians or those desiring to hold political office can simply get into office by throwing up a few signs or holding a couple of rallies, and don’t think that you won’t be held accountable to doing work in office either. Voters have changed, it’s about time that politics and politicians understand that and start stepping up.

Reality Reflections: Appreciating Responsibilities

This month we’ve talked some about the topic of responsibilities, and this past week I found myself in an ironic situation when I wished that I didn’t have the responsibility of doing the dishes when everyone else was watching TV or sleeping.  I don’t mind doing dishes, I even find it a bit soothing, but sometimes we can find ourselves wanting a break from even the responsibilities we’ve chosen as adults.  But knowing how little my partner enjoys doing them, it was either me or no one.

Of course it got me thinking about responsibilities, both those that are handed to us as well as those we choose, and about some of our other needs and desires like love, support and freedom.  It’s not always easy to be the adult, some days you want days off for headaches and illness or just to get a break from life.  Sometimes you can take those days, but other times you’ve got to step it up and push through because you’ve got responsibilities to yourself and others.  It’s not easy to choose to push through after a full day of pushing through.

The other ironic thing is that after I got over my annoyance and did the dishes I actually felt better because the kitchen was neater and who doesn’t like clean dishes, right?!  Sometimes I think we get caught in the responsibility aspect and forget why we do it or the benefits of doing it.  Yes, some responsibilities are a burden, but very few come without rewards.  It’s something that I’m going to work on remembering this week, and adjusting my attitude when necessary towards my responsibilities.

Prayer for Students

This month we’ve been talking a bit about the topic of responsibility, one of those responsibilities is to the younger generations, both on a spiritual level as well as a whole-life level. We have to give them the tools that we’ve got as well as do our best to prepare them for what is yet to come that we don’t know about yet; challenges and opportunities that have never been seen before.

This week on Wednesday students around the US will be gathering around the flagpoles at their schools to pray for each other as well as our nation. It’s a moment where they step up and take responsibility for themselves and their school mates, the future leaders of the world. This week the rest of the US has the opportunity to pray for students and the people they will become as well, and for those who teach them and guide them.

Each year the organization behind See You At The Pole selects a passage to focus that year’s prayers on, this year it’s Ephesians 3:14: “I fall on my knees before the Father.” I encourage you to check out what they’ve shared about the thought behind their choice of passage on their website. What stood out to me was that the verse really is a reminder to pray, to seriously dedicate yourself and time to praying for what’s going on in your life and the world around you and taking the time to develop a relationship with God. We don’t always dedicate the time and effort to prayer that we should, and this verse is a reminder to do exactly that.

I encourage you to devote some of your prayer time this week for students, both those who will pray around the pole on Wednesday and those who will not, that this year will be a positive one and full of opportunities that will help shape students into the men and women that they will become.

Hope In Responsibility

It’s hard to believe that we’ve only got 4 months left in 2018. It seems like just yesterday we were cleaning up the Christmas decorations from 2017, working our way through snowstorms and planning Easter celebrations. But the reality is that many months have passed. I think one of the greatest challenges we face is the amount of time some things take to accomplish or get done, the amount of hours in a day and the amount of things we want or need to get done. I have a feeling that some day people will look back at us and wonder if we were all crazy for trying to do all that we do.

With today having been Labor Day here in the US, it seems like talking about this month’s topic is even more fitting: responsibility. I know, it’s a tough topic to talk about often because we feel we have so many responsibilities and so many people that we’re responsible to and for. And I’ll be honest, often the case is that it doesn’t all get done. And it would be good for us to all take a step back and lighten our loads and burdens a bit.

But in thinking about the topic for this month and Labor Day this weekend I’m reminded that sometimes responsibilities aren’t a burden in the sense of creating a weight that we have to carry along. Sometimes it’s a relief to have a responsibility, or to know what’s required of us. Having a job, having a family relying on us, and being called to bring God’s message of peace and joy to the world can bring us a sense of hope and peace because we know that we’re not alone in the world, that we’re able to provide for ourselves and others, and that we’re here for a reason and our life isn’t meaningless. It becomes a burden when we’re overwhelmed with quantity, can’t figure out how to fit it all in, aren’t able to find an answer or feel like we’re all alone trying to navigate everything.

If your responsibilities are feeling like a burden to you, it’s a sign that you need an attitude change, need to reevaluate what you want to be responsible for in life, and/or need more support.  If that’s how you’re feeling I encourage you to take a step back this week and do some reevaluating as we shift into September and soon autumn. Make sure that you’re holding up your end of the deal and that you’re on the path that God has for you.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Reality Reflection: Independence

This week coming up in the US we’ve got Independence Day. As I was reflecting on the history of the day and the topics of freedom and celebration that surround it, I circled back around to the official name of the day: independence. Just about every kid you ever meet will use the phrase “no I can do it” even if they’re really not quite capable yet, because they want to do it themselves and be on their own so badly (or be big enough like their older siblings). It’s an important stage of growth, learning to do things on your own, but as we’ve gotten older I think some of us have lost that independent spirit, or at least the important aspects of it.

Independence goes hand in hand with responsibility. Whether that means wiping up the water you spilled after trying to fill your cup as a kid, or paying bills on time and having money left over in your account for emergencies and special occasions as an adult, if you really want to stand on your own, to have more victories in your life, you have to start taking responsibility. Take responsibility for your dreams, desires and actions (or lack thereof), and start doing something different if you don’t like the direction things have been going in.

Independence is something to celebrate. There’s something incredibly satisfying about saying that you did something all by yourself, even as an adult.  So take time this coming week to celebrate the ways you’re standing on your own, and make a commitment to be responsible and own the independence that you’ve been staring at, perhaps for years.

Reality Reflection: Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze?

Recently I was talking with a friend about the successes his son has had at swimming. From previous conversations I know that he is paying a decent amount for his son to swim with the team each year. As any responsible parent would, every year he considers if the cost of having his son swim is really worth it, or if the finances would be better spent on other activities, not to mention all the time devoted to practices and meets. Hearing all the successes his son has had this year we both agreed that it’s been a good investment for his son. His son hasn’t won any money or college scholarships (he’s not at that level yet), but the records he’s broken and medals he’s won show constant improvement and better-than-average success.

This conversation got me thinking about the rest of our lives and the investments we’re making.  The investment and the value are things that we should be considering in the decisions that we make. They should help guide our decisions and remind us to spend more resources on the things and people that give a good return. If some of us put even a tiny bit more thought to the investment we’re making and the value we’re getting out of a decision, I think things would look very different in the news right now.

You can’t avoid hearing about all the women coming forward and sharing about unwanted attention, about the lies that people tell to others, or about the questionable decisions that are made in various business industries by leaders and employees alike. I know that it can be seductive to go the easy route or cut corners, but time and again it’s been proven that making the decisions that benefit the fewest number of people are a bad idea!

I’m not saying that we can’t have any fun or do mostly pointless activities like watching TV or going out with friends, just that we need to be more aware of the decisions we’re making and making sure that we’re OK with how the investment of resources will turn out.

As we enter this last month of the year how have your investments this year worked out? Have you made good investments, or do you have some work to do before the year is out?