One of the greatest skills you can have is communication, but as most of us know, it’s also one of the hardest to develop and most of us aren’t naturally gifted communicators. I’m always fascinated (and a little jealous) at how my partner and other truly gifted communicators are able to have a conversation with anyone and not make it sound like they’re a little kid pretending they understand the conversation. Can we get better at communicating? Yes, any of us can become better communicators, and even if we just get better at listening we’ll be better communicators. Of course most of us want to become better at the talking part too, and that’s a good thing too because the better we are at putting our words together the fewer fights we’ll have, the fewer times we’ll ‘stick our foot in our mouths,’ and the more often we’ll recognize the right opportunity to speak up and share our thoughts.
When it comes to communication the Bible is full of lessons on talking, listening and even communication as a topic. You may be familiar with the repetition throughout the Bible on some topics and even with some phrases, which annoys some people because that repetition seems silly or wasteful. But given how selective the people who put the Bible together had to be (or else we wouldn’t be able to carry it around, right?!), you would think that if they thought there was too much repetition they wouldn’t have included it, and would instead include another miracle of Jesus, more about the life of David or at the very least gotten rid of the cliff hanger at the end of the book of Jonah! But clearly they thought that the phrases that were repeated throughout the Bible were important.
So repetition might not be a bad thing, but I know from experience that it doesn’t matter how many times you say something, if you’re not communicating it in such a way that the other people/person can understand it, the words are worthless. For example if I asked you to get me “the book” you’d probably ask “what book?!” and if my response was “the book!” we’d just go in circles until one of us got too fed up and walked away (unless of course you only have one book!). Sure we’re speaking the same language, but I’m not including the necessary details for you to follow through on my request. One of the more practical situations when this matters is in explaining why something matters, why you’re doing something, or why you want something done a certain way to someone else. You have to not only be able to explain your side or perspective or desires or goals, but do so in a way that they understand where you’re coming from and why it matters or why it has to be done that way or how it could positively impact them if they did. Their understanding is key to getting them on board with it.
So if you want to be an expert communicator, or even just a better communicator than you are, the first place to start working may not be what you expect: Proverbs 16:1 says: “People might plan what they want to say, but it is the Lord who gives them the right words.” This verse reminds us that as much as it’s important that we work on our communication skills, we can’t forget that we’ve got God to help us out and polish things up if you will. So yes, go ahead and study up on how you can better communicate, and get really good at asking questions and listening, but don’t forget to include God in that process so that you share the words He wants you to say and you get the support He offers to guide and encourage you when you get stuck.
Laura Dickey 